Home Sweet Home.

Im poorly. But its ok because i am at home with my mommy looking after me.

Im doing lots of yoga ... but sad to be missing out on pride.

When i reach 12olbs im going to dye my hair red. Yay :)

Though Your World May Fall To Pieces As Your Temperature Increases Be Determined Never To Give In.

Above, the words of my audition piece sunday.

Tomorrow. The make or break exam results.

Today. Over tired, over worked and feeling like crapola.

So. Intensive hair and face mask.

My hair and skin feel like god.

I feel like a girl lost.

The Biggest Loser Finale.

Ok, so this is going to be another one of those blogs that has absolutely no interest to anyone but me, but while sat at home watching the finale of the biggest loser i felt compelled to write something down. So, yes i cried. Haha.

It just hit me that a lot of people, me included, seem to struggle with the concept of eating healthy and losing weight when we have only got say 20lbs to lose, when these people have completely transformed their lives. I mean theyve lost 100+ lbs and i just think if they have managed to overcome so much ... true they had the help of amazing trainers ... but realistically its not just the physical change that gets me all emotional, its how they have become totally new people.

Ok ill go now.

Have You Met Miss Jones?

She is the most beautiful girl in the world.
The most talented girl in my world.
She keeps me smiling when the day turns grey,
When everyone else turns away
She is there to put a smile on my face
Her smile is enchanting
And she always knows what to do.

Fear Of Failure.

I feel so overwhelmed with everything. All this revision just seems to be going in one ear and spilling out the other. I feel ill, im eating like crap and urgh :(

Impressing guys or just competeing with other girls?

Ok, so i havent made an entry for a few days because i have been in blackpool and while i was there i came up with a few things to write about here, because i have found out that people are actually reading my blog haha!

Well, i went to blackpool with my brother and john, so in true theme park fashion i was wearing a baggy pair of jeans, a hoody and a waterproof ... but i was struck by the number of girls that were there in their high heels, full face of orange makeup and leopard print coats. Especially when they came off valhalla with the orange running down their faces ... they looked ridiculous.

But i started thinking about something i have heard loads of times, do we worry about our appaerance to look good in front of girls? I mean, yeah i wanna look good to attract a man, but at the same time my weight doesnt bother me unless im going to be with other skinny girls, it effects the way i eat aswell.

For example, when i was in blackpool surrounded by my parents and the boys i ate like a total pig. Im saying full english breakfast, hotdogs, all you can eat pizza buffet, donuts, mcdonalds the works. If i had have been there with girls i would not have eaten half as much/badly.

On that note ... dmu summer ball is 12 weeks away and i need to get my fat ass into shape. 3 day juice detox maybe?

True Friendship.

Ok, so those of you who remember, last year one of my best friends went off with my boyfriend and i was almost about to forgive her, until the other day when she made the comment that actually she didnt understand why i was upset, because after all, i said we had had a few arguements before we split up ... oh cause that makes it all alright?

So anyway, ive been going out with john a couple of times. And he is one of my best friends, no sexual attraction on either part. Hes like a brother, and i realised how much he has been there for me over the past year. Like it was him who took me out to thorpe park to cheer me up from the split, and i truly dont know what i would do without him. Its not often friends come along like that.

Today also, i went out with Leanne, and while i was slagging off the for mentioned girl, i realised she was sat across the room from me. It made me realise though, i wasnt bothered if she heard. Shes not my friend. Best friends dont do that to you. I have learnt a lot from my best friends over the years.

John taught me that sometimes it the most random of people that will pick you up when you are down.

Leanne taught me that friends dont have to see each other everyday to still be close.

Emily taught me that even if youve been a bitch and neglected your true friends for a while, if you say sorry and truly mean it, they will always be there for you.

Bethan taught me that sometimes you just have to smile, even though you dont feel like it.

Katy taught me the meaning of truly loving a friend, and how much it hurts to not be able to help them.

Charlotte-Lucy xoxo