11.12.2010

So just a quick update today!

The couple i played matchmaker for our engaged :D haha

And Im going to be BRIDESMAID :D

xoxo

8.12.2010

Well isnt being ill boring?

woke up snuggled up to the boy this morning. Most amazing feeling in the world, waking up in his arms and knowing that he is mine.

went to have my blood taken, they butchered my arms.

went to my flat, was sick, had a sleep and then pranced around in my leopard print heels.

came back to the boys house and he had to go to work.

chatted with his gran, ate dinner, went to the loo, put Rachel Zoe on, sat watching that while waiting for him to get home

Interesting huh?

Charlotte-Lucy

7.12.2010

I said i would be back everyday :)

So today i stopped taking my antibiotics and i managed to eat a slice of toast, a bite of Toms chocolate muffin and two whole cups of tea! Thats a lot having been pretty much nil by mouth for the past few days!

Anyway so last night when wed gone to bed you would have thought that we were 12! We got the giggles and just could not stop laughing, it was horrendous! haha and like we didnt want to wake anyone else up so we were both like "shhhh" but then we would burst out laughing again!

ive set up my healthy mind healthy body blog too, which isnt so much about weightloss its more about eating healthy, exercising and generally feeling good :D

My poor boy had to go to work today and hes really stressed out and i wish i could like help him with something, but all i can do is keep the bed warm! Haha

Peace and Love

Charlotte-Lucy

6.12.2010

Ok, so i realise it has been an eternity since i made an entry but i thought i owed it to my beloved followers to write! Ok, so the main points?

I am currently really poorly, ive lost 8lbs in five days which even i know is a bad thing.

But i am being looked after by my amazing new boyfriend who is currently stripped off in front of me ... but the damn laptop is hiding the good view! damnit :D

haha i am going to make an entry everyday though!

Peace and Love

Charlotte-Lucy

29.8.2010

So i realise it has been an eternity since i last posted. I am way too busy :(

12.7.2010

Its 30 minutes past midnight and i am sitting watching god knows what on the telly. Tomorrow im starting a high protein, low carb diet in a vein attempt to shave off a few lbs in the next ten days before my birthday. Im getting a spray tan, and my mom has agreed to help me save for breast implants. Wow. Im going to look like barbie.

8.7.2010

Wow. I need to write more often.

The yummy boy wasnt so yummy when i saw him sober. Still i was willing to let that pass, until he proved to be a total dick. Psh, doesnt deserve me.

So i went out on the gay scene, that was fun :) Gays know how to have fun!

Lots of work on placement, taking iron tablets, feeling poorly, but carrying on regardless.

Back in dudley now, bit of r and r.

Oh and Bethan is god.

Peace and Love

Charlotte-Lucy xoxo

19.06.2010

The universe has a strange way of balancing. For example, i make out with a truly yummy guy on wednesday, and then on friday i get my period, followed by horrendous cramps and spots breaking out all over my face. What a bitch.

12.6.2010

So, life is good. Apart from the illness which is making me sleep for about 12 hours a night!

Im the only non-virgin in my group of friends, which is the opposite to what i was at 16. So i need to tone down the sex talk. Both my exes have now down graded to girls who are a lot like me in many ways, just less so. Aha.

England game and boy watching tonight :)

05.06.2010

Seeing sex and the city last night for the second time really showed me something, a lesson i wont forget. Looking around at all the groups of females together was quite exciting because they ranged from 15 year olds right up to 50+ and it really gave me a sense of sisterhood.

And i was with my two girls :)

And i want that Balmain jumpsuit!

04.06.2010

I have learnt a few things this week.

People on the train from brum (birmingham) to wolvo (wolverhampton) are really friendly.

Driving tests are hard!

My parents are lovely.

Me, Miss Jones and Miss Baker will never let anything come between us :)

Home Sweet Home.

Im poorly. But its ok because i am at home with my mommy looking after me.

Im doing lots of yoga ... but sad to be missing out on pride.

When i reach 12olbs im going to dye my hair red. Yay :)

Though Your World May Fall To Pieces As Your Temperature Increases Be Determined Never To Give In.

Above, the words of my audition piece sunday.

Tomorrow. The make or break exam results.

Today. Over tired, over worked and feeling like crapola.

So. Intensive hair and face mask.

My hair and skin feel like god.

I feel like a girl lost.

The Biggest Loser Finale.

Ok, so this is going to be another one of those blogs that has absolutely no interest to anyone but me, but while sat at home watching the finale of the biggest loser i felt compelled to write something down. So, yes i cried. Haha.

It just hit me that a lot of people, me included, seem to struggle with the concept of eating healthy and losing weight when we have only got say 20lbs to lose, when these people have completely transformed their lives. I mean theyve lost 100+ lbs and i just think if they have managed to overcome so much ... true they had the help of amazing trainers ... but realistically its not just the physical change that gets me all emotional, its how they have become totally new people.

Ok ill go now.

Have You Met Miss Jones?

She is the most beautiful girl in the world.
The most talented girl in my world.
She keeps me smiling when the day turns grey,
When everyone else turns away
She is there to put a smile on my face
Her smile is enchanting
And she always knows what to do.

Fear Of Failure.

I feel so overwhelmed with everything. All this revision just seems to be going in one ear and spilling out the other. I feel ill, im eating like crap and urgh :(

Impressing guys or just competeing with other girls?

Ok, so i havent made an entry for a few days because i have been in blackpool and while i was there i came up with a few things to write about here, because i have found out that people are actually reading my blog haha!

Well, i went to blackpool with my brother and john, so in true theme park fashion i was wearing a baggy pair of jeans, a hoody and a waterproof ... but i was struck by the number of girls that were there in their high heels, full face of orange makeup and leopard print coats. Especially when they came off valhalla with the orange running down their faces ... they looked ridiculous.

But i started thinking about something i have heard loads of times, do we worry about our appaerance to look good in front of girls? I mean, yeah i wanna look good to attract a man, but at the same time my weight doesnt bother me unless im going to be with other skinny girls, it effects the way i eat aswell.

For example, when i was in blackpool surrounded by my parents and the boys i ate like a total pig. Im saying full english breakfast, hotdogs, all you can eat pizza buffet, donuts, mcdonalds the works. If i had have been there with girls i would not have eaten half as much/badly.

On that note ... dmu summer ball is 12 weeks away and i need to get my fat ass into shape. 3 day juice detox maybe?

True Friendship.

Ok, so those of you who remember, last year one of my best friends went off with my boyfriend and i was almost about to forgive her, until the other day when she made the comment that actually she didnt understand why i was upset, because after all, i said we had had a few arguements before we split up ... oh cause that makes it all alright?

So anyway, ive been going out with john a couple of times. And he is one of my best friends, no sexual attraction on either part. Hes like a brother, and i realised how much he has been there for me over the past year. Like it was him who took me out to thorpe park to cheer me up from the split, and i truly dont know what i would do without him. Its not often friends come along like that.

Today also, i went out with Leanne, and while i was slagging off the for mentioned girl, i realised she was sat across the room from me. It made me realise though, i wasnt bothered if she heard. Shes not my friend. Best friends dont do that to you. I have learnt a lot from my best friends over the years.

John taught me that sometimes it the most random of people that will pick you up when you are down.

Leanne taught me that friends dont have to see each other everyday to still be close.

Emily taught me that even if youve been a bitch and neglected your true friends for a while, if you say sorry and truly mean it, they will always be there for you.

Bethan taught me that sometimes you just have to smile, even though you dont feel like it.

Katy taught me the meaning of truly loving a friend, and how much it hurts to not be able to help them.

Charlotte-Lucy xoxo

Love vs Lust.

In all honesty, what have i learnt about love and lust? And where have i learnt it from? Something i have been pondering today really. I mean, Jay, my first boyfriend. I dont think that was ever a question of love or lust. I feel that was more about the feeling of being wanted by someone else. The kisses, and the holding hands was just perfect really. But there was still the public awkwardness i think. And although i felt bad ending it at the time, i think in hindsight it was for the best, and now were good friends.

Hindsight? Its a beautiful thing isnt it?

Now Owain. To be honest it doesnt matter how much he hates me now, i dont actually hate him. Its weird actually. I feel nothing. Im literally sat here and i feel no emotion towards him now, which is haunting. For nearly three years he was everything. And although the end of it hurt me more than anything i have ever experienced before, i truly loved him. And i think we both learned a lot from each other. Of course, he will always be my first love. And i will always be his. Like it or not.

Then, since ive been at uni, have i been craving that feeling again? I mean with the guy my friends either refer to as the twat or the dick, it was all about lust and revenge, and its a mistake ive made a few times since. I think today i have come to realise i need to put this mistake in the past. And Jake ... lets not go there. I dont even want him as a friend now. He can play the innocent face if he wants. Im no longer concerned. I wish him a happy life, away from me.

So the question lies, love or lust? Which one. Well, in my experience, being in love was amazing and terrible at the same time. It was the feeling of waking up with butterflies knowing that there was someone out there thinking of just me. But at the same time, it was the terror, that someone could take this all away at any moment ... and in the end my so called best friend did. Making Love and Sex are two totally different concepts, and both have there merits. Making love, when your body seems totally connected to the one that you love is amazing. Its euphoric and feels like it lasts forever. But when that kind of connection breaks down i think its important to have relations in a more relaxed way for a while. Im not saying sleeping with everything that moves, on the contrary. Go on a few dates and have some fun.

I cannot say which one i prefer. Both are amazing at the right times.

Onwards and Upwards girls, Im ready for whatever experiences life wants to throw at me :)

Charlotte-Lucy

The Call.

So, it hasnt even been 24 hours since my interview for the dream job and yet i have spent the whole day waiting for the phone to ring. Feeling sick. Jumping every time it rings and then feeling a little disheartened when for the 6th time its my dad ringing to ask if ive heard anything yet. Or to talk to me about blackpool.

I have spring cleaned the flat. I have dusted, i have bleached, I have sorted, I have thrown away.

I have watched married single other and cried.

And now i intend to eat this whole packet of cookies while watching sex and the city ... and waiting for the call.

Poorly Days.

So I am poorly :(

I dont like being ill, I have to just keep going. I am now a student nurse, who has two jobs, who is also trying to get down to a size 8 before may, who is through with guys, who needs to get fit for the raf and who wants to look good at the same time :)

wow. mindfuck.

13.3.2010

Well, I am truly aweful at this blog writing thing. The boy totally messed me around, i knew it would happen. So no longer wearing the heart on the sleeve.

Im joining the RAF once im 23. so i need to get my ass into gear. Bye bye boys.

Grow up and come speak to me in a few years.

Also purple hair :)

28.2.2010

Isnt life just great?

I mean you would think id get a break once in a while.

Fuck.

17.1.10

I told the guy about my obsession. I dont think he gets it, he just told me i was beautiful, the same way that everyone does. I get it, I know my thighs are thin and my legs go on for ever. But still, i have a huge stomach, tiny little non-boobs and a really rounded chubby face.
I know i should give myself a break and practice some body loving, but the most important part of everyday is centred on that morning torture of stepping on those scales. 10 8. Thats what stares back at me, and i feel like crying. Just bring on 8 10. Invert the numbers. Make me happy.

Charlotte-Lucy xoxo

16.1.10

So guys. Today, placement felt sooo tedious, as in i am getting bored of it. Bored and just plain broody. I told this to the guy, and he replied "can guys get broody too"
Thank god for my contraceptive implant! Haha. I hope to god he doesnt get his mitts on this blog!
So yes, the pictures ... its my first date outfit. Whatcha think? I want casual but not sloppy! And of course i will be wearing the amazing gel bra!!
Tonight we ate pancakes and made VERY Special K :P It was amazing and i love my girls to bits!!
So, now instead of doing my work which i should be doing, i am listening to "genre - soundtrack" on my ipod, while dancing around in my very retro night shirt and complaining about the lack of hot water!
Charlotte-Lucy xoxo

15.2.10

Soo i know im rubbish at this blog thing. Haha! But yes, there is a guy that i am texting all the time, and i think it could be leading somewhere, and quite frankly that scares the shit out of me! I am a total romantic and i am ready for love again, but at the same time i dont want to have my heartbroken all over again.


Anyway, valentines yesterday was amazing! Me, Anita and Lauren ate curry (well actually i ate pizza) and mini eggs and watched saw films :) The guy text me at 12.01am to say happy valentines day which made my day!


Then today i have had a no carbs, no fat, no anything really kind of day :) And im heading over for some sophisticated tea with chloe in a minute. I feel like a lucky girl at the moment.

12.2.10

To my heart

this blog is a sincere letter of apology to you. I know that you are just healing from the mess that my last love left you in, but i have a confession to make. I think i am falling in love again.

This isnt a crush, or even someone just because its almost valentines. This is a full on butterflies in the stomach, texting all night kind of affair. I dont want to let myself fall too deep and then be dissapointed, but at the same time i dont want to discard such a wonderful feeling.

Charlotte xoxo

09.2.10

Ok, so i know i am aweful at this journal! I promise i am going to try my hardest to update everyday :)

So, this weekend was absolutely perfection. I went home and got to spend the weekend with some girls who i absolutely love to pieces. It took me back to good old times before i fell in love and had my heart smashed. True love = Bethan and Milly :)

Today i have been working hard on my childrens nursing placement, and it has been a lot of fun :) Though i am VERY pissed off that the flatmate finds it perfectly acceptable to steal my hot chocolate. I find that VERY rude.

The diet is going well, i think.

Charlotte xoxo

23.1.2010: Today my life was perfection.

So, today my life was perfect :)

The picture above is my rocky horror show costume for the 19th feb :) If i could lose maybe half a stone before then i think it would look perfection!

Anyway today, i had a lie in and then went to see peter pan at the curve! It was amazing, and i gave them a standing ovation and Siobhan Mcarthy looked me in the eye!!! I was in my elements, i practically skipped home. Went to primark and bought some new clothes and i am now watching bad girls the musical in bed!

Life is sweet

Charlotte-Lucy xoxo

21.1.10

Wow i havent even written an entry yet this year!

So happy new year guys! I am currently on placement and i am really enjoying it even if it tires me out! Though its not the main focus of my energy at the moment. I know i shouldnt really admit that, but at the moment i spend a lot of time thinking about food, what i am eating, exercise and mainly about losing weight to slim down :) Im so sick of being huge. And tbh i am sick of people saying i dont need to lose weight.

Anyway ... i got bad girls the musical in the post today :) I am so happy with that :P

Speak to you later x